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archive: Nanashi - http://nanashi-inc.net Fandomination.net - user: Lady Dragon Fanfiction.net - user: Lady Dragon Special thanks to: from ff.net for your wonderful reviews. Author's Note: I must apologize for the rather lenghty delay in getting this chapter out, gomen ne? I hit a road block about mid-way through and then when I finally finished I just kept finding all these errors that I had not noticed before. Woo hoo! Part 3 is double length, considering its the last part, so kick back minna and enjoy. Okay I don’t know how many of you are going to be able to view the fic before Christmas. With the rather unusual weather we got here in NM; snow, rain, ice, sleet and hail, power was out of and on for the past day and a half over here. Hence the extremely late posting -_-; gomen ne?! And does anyone know what’s up with fanfiction.net? I've been trying to log in to upload the last chapter there but I cant even reach the main page!  A Heart Two Sizes Too Small by Lady Dragon Part 3 The strange encounter had left him a bit distracted. Oh who the hell was he trying to kid, he was fucking freaked out! Jeweler’s cart and woman gone in the blink of an eye, and to top it off, the following day as he went to retrieve the necklaces he'd noticed another strange occurrence. The logo on the bag was gone; yet the bag itself and its contents had remained. Something most definitely not right was going on. Damn but he needed a drink. The day spent with the freaky woman was still all too vivid in Yohji's mind. Each detail forever engrained on his already tired and beaten psyche. He had returned that evening, fresh from the unnatural shopping expedition, bag still in hand to find the house and its occupants still very much in the norm. To say something weird as hell was going on was an understatement. With a frantic speed Yohji had tossed the gift into his closet and dressed for a night of clubbing in a hurry. Dancing and drinking all night had helped him put the strange incident out of mind. Up until the following morning that is, when he was awoken by a frantic Ken in search of wrapping paper. Still hung over from the night before he had mumbled some incoherent directions leading to the wrapping paper's whereabouts, or so he thought, and slammed his door shut in Ken-ken's face. Hey he was not his best at seven thirty in the fucking morning! It was then that the ill-begotten gift had wormed its way back into Yohji's mind, and after another half hour or so of slumber he had made his way after Ken in search of wrapping paper. That was when he noticed that the logo on the bag was missing. Thoroughly spooked Yohji had come to his first logical conclusion of that morning. He was high. High as a cloud, and didn't even know it. Of course that didn't make much sense but it was more plausible than vanishing logos and jeweler’s right? Christmas gift wrapped and placed under the tree, Yohji had headed out to handle his morning shift, which he was already forty-five minutes late for. And of all the days he had the morning shift, he just had to share it with Red and a store full of noisy school girls. That day being one in the same with the day he's hung over, mind plagued with vanishing carts, amethyst eyes, and hentai ladies. More than once Aya had caught him spacing off while starring into his, eyes. One of the school girls, Annese-san Omittchi called her, had squealed with delight while Omi dragged her off with him to class; Aya shooting 'glares of death' at her the whole time. Normally Yohji would have sympathized with the young woman; had she not caught him lost in Aya's eyes and had begun asking if he, Yohji Kudou had a crush on 'Aya-san. "Damn Yaoi freaks" he had muttered half-heartedly amidst the chorus of giggles from the departing girls. Of course the rest of the morning Yohji had spent tip-toeing on egg shells. When at last Ken had arrived to relieve them, Yohji had fled the Koneko and made himself scarce through out the rest of the day and evening. Not daring to return till the following morning. Granted Aya probably didn't blame him for the incident, too much, but it sure did not help to soothe Yohji's unease one bit. His nerves, having been refined from his years as a private investigator and now as an assassin, were to say the least extremely on edge. And so to the great displeasure of Ken and Omi, Yohji had not returned to the Koneko till this morning, Christmas Eve. Since the shop wasn't to be opened that day Yohji felt relatively sure that his unannounced leave of absence wouldn't be noticed or minded much, if at all. He'd been wrong, very wrong. His return had been greeted with a pouting Omi bundled in at least three layers of blankets, and a dozing Ken camped out in front of the door. Within seconds of opening the door and walking in; Omi had sprung from his nest of blankets like a deranged jack-in-the box and begun firing a barrage of questions at Yohji. Eventually waking Ken in the process. Yohji stood there a few moments stunned that his departure had caused such a fuss and blinking in bewilderment. "Yohji-kun! Where have you been? We've been worried sick about you! Why didn't you tell us you were leaving? We thought you'd been mugged, or worse." "I-" "Aya-kun and Ken-kun were looking everywhere for you! You should have CALLED!" Huge cerulean blue chibi eyes looked up at him balefully, tears already watering their blue depths and beginning to trail down his puffy cheeks. "I ah..., sorry Ommitchi. I must have lost track of the time." Yohji mumbled hopelessly lost at the sad sight before him. It was so not fair! He didn't do anything wrong, yet he got the full chibi-treatment, water works included. Some days it did not pay to get out of bed. "Omi's right Yohji, we were all uh kind of worried about ya." Ken mumbled standing behind Omi and attempting to rub the sleep from his eyes. "Oi, you guys are acting like this is the first time I've ever spent the night out. Pft! your destroying my image." "Yohji-kun its Christmas Eve, you didn't even tell us you'd be leaving some where, you just ran off and left us to worry." "But Aya does it all the time-" Yohji knew it sounded childish but he couldn't refrain from saying it. "That’s Aya-kun, it makes him more mysterious and attractive!" "WHAT!?" Yohji sputtered indignantly "What’s so attractive about that?" "Aah..." Omi started then trailed off a deep flush creeping up his neck and spreading across his face. Ken begun to look back and forth between the two, a confused look on his face as he attempted to figure out what had caused Omi to start blushing. "Omittchi, if I didn't know better I'd think you were the president of Aya's fan club, or at least a senior member." "Aya has a fan club?" "Yohji-kun!!" With a small smirk and wink Yohji reached out and gently ruffled Omi's hair. With the two youngest members of Weiß riled up like housewives Yohji could safely rule out a peaceful nap in his own bed. "Yohji wait, where are you going?" Ken called out as Yohji turned to head back out into the cold morning air. "Somewhere, don’t worry Ken-ken I'll be back for dinner." "Mou, Yohji-kun!" Waving jovially Yohji left. He hadn't lied he was going somewhere he just wasn't quite sure where yet. Aah it was a good thing they weren't on a mission. At least Omi wouldn't be typing up any ‘Balinese has problems’ reports. "I don’t know Ken-kun, but he said he'd back...so he just needs some time to himself." Omi replied nodding his head sagely as he shut the door and headed towards the kitchen. "Oh." Was all Ken said, scratching his head in mild bewilderment. It really was too early to be trying to understand his fellow teammates. "Ken-kun, help me make some breakfast!" Omi called from the kitchen. Shrugging Ken gave up. On a normal day Yohji was always had to understand. "Coming." Instead of helping though, Ken headed straight to the fridge. "Ken-kun that’s for Christmas dinner!" "But I'm hungry, now." “Touch that food again and die soccer geek!” “Did you just call me a soccer geek?!” A serious of cries, crashes and even growls issued forth shortly after, carrying upwards to the red head standing at the top of the staircase. He'd stood there unnoticed by the crazed trio since Omi's first cry of "Yohji-kun". An outside observer to a world he was a part of but did not yet belong. Each step took Yohji further and further away from the Koneko and closer to his unknown destination. His destination was known to him on a subconscious level only. At present his conscious self was thinking he was merely taking a walk, going for a smoke, or maybe even trolling a bit; an over all attempt to avoid the house and its weird occupants. He was not confused not in the least. Hours passed and still Yohji kept walking, pausing only once at noon to grab a warm drink and an equally warm meal at a small cafe. The whole while his mind busily running over the recent chain of events. His meal finished and coffee drained, Yohji left making sure to give the petite beauty of a waitress a generous tip and his phone number. His final destination was still clear across town and had his conscious part of mind been in control and not the subconscious he'd have known to take Seven or at least buy a metro ticket instead of walking. Hands shoved deep in pockets Yohji pressed on; with each step an idea began to form in his head. Determination leaking into his stride, Yohji began to walk faster. Sure it had been a few years since he'd finally broken off the yearly ritual. After Asuka's death the yearly visit had seemed meaningless, she had been the one who still held faith in the world, not him. Off in the not so far distance now the sound of mission bells could be heard calling parishioners near. A glance at his analog watch confirmed his suspicions; the three o-clock mass was about to begin. Maybe Asuka was smiling and happy he'd remembered this year. Or probably more likely she was laughing at what it took to get Yohji near a church again without her insistent pulling and tugging on his sleeve. If he went to the mass and then immediately took a subway back to the other side of the town, and the Koneko he'd be home in time for a slightly late dinner. After all the honorable Yohji Kudou never breaks a promise. "Omi, what's with the big feast, not that I'm complaining." One male asked, eyes still dancing over the food in eager anticipation while hands busily attempted to serve his plate to the brim without the other two noticing. His energy spent, and all food now served the one named Omi sat down at his place eyes narrowing at the still empty seat usually occupied by one Kudou Yohji. "Don’t worry Ken-kun, there is still plenty of food for tomorrow." Omi replied while swatting Ken's hand away from the rest of the food. "Good! Now I'm hungry, Aya pass me the rice balls." Without a word Aya dutifully passed Ken the requested dish, his own plate barely containing any of the wonderfully prepared meal before him. Frowning at the red head's appetite, or rather, lack there of Omi began to question their teammate’s health when the front door opened with a slam and a loud, somewhat boisterous greeting interrupted him. "Ladies, I'm home!" Ken bristled at the comment while Omi stifled a laugh, Aya however appeared not to have heard or simply did not care. Entering the kitchen Yohji eyed the meal warily. "I thought Christmas was tomorrow...?" He asked, eyebrow raised in curiosity. Had he missed a day somehow? "It is! I just wanted to make a nice meal tonight." Omi said pouting slightly. "Well it looks good, bishounen." And with that Yohji sat down and began to serve himself as well. Dinner was passed with jovial laughter and excitement. Only one person deigning not to comment unless spoken to directly; even then he would only respond with a muttered 'hn'. Occasionally the red head would look up at their laughter, a lost look in his eyes before shrugging it off and continuing to eat his meal in stoic silence. All of this Yohji took in carefully filing it away in a metal file cabinet for latter reference. As the meal dwindled down Aya stood and excused himself, quickly retreating to the solitude of his room. A hushed silence fell over the three remaining diners at their comrade's abrupt departure. "At least he stayed for most of the meal and said 'excuse me'." Ken pointed out before raising his glass to his lips one last time. Rising slowly and attempting to stretch out every muscle Ken excused himself as well and headed to the den with the excuse of wanting to watch some t.v. before 'hitting the sack'. Of course Yohji and Omi knew he was really in the den shaking his presents in an attempt to figure out what they were. But neither wished to dampen the brunette's mood and so made no comment. With twice his normal cheer Omi began to clear off the table and start in on the dishes. After an hour turned into two and Yohji had joined Ken in the den enjoying what appeared to be a Pokemon Christmas special Omi began to get frustrated. Just how was Santa going to deliver gifts if everyone was up? Never mind the fact that a fat man in a red suit sneaking into the home of four assassins was insanely hysterical, and probably extremely deadly. Nor the fact that he was a bit too old to believe in Santa any longer Omi marched into the den, shoulders pulled back in a determined sort of way. Marching up to the TV. he grabbed a hold of the plug and gave it a hard yank. "Oi, chibi-" "Hey I was-" "Go. To. Sleep." Omi's face still seemed warm and inviting but somehow his voice lacked its usual cheer. With three simple words the chibi had commanded them to go to sleep and promised death to those who did not obey his command, immediately. Perhaps Omi was spending a little too much time trying to figure out and understand Aya, Yohji thought. The fact that every year Omi forced them to retire early due to the fat man's supposed immanent arrival didn’t even enter into the minds of Yohji and Ken. Instead both meekly said goodnight and climbed up the stairs, vowing to return later that evening when the chibi was deep asleep. As the pair reached the landing and separated to go to their respective rooms Omi smiled a smile that would have dashed the other's angelic image of him. With an evil smirk and gleeful chuckling Omi pulled out a plastic bag he had stashed behind the cleaning supplies under the sink. Checking to make sure the others had not decided to sneak back downstairs Omi slung the bag over his shoulder and walked into the den. Under the couch lay two rolls of wrapping paper, a pair of scissors, gift tags, ribbon, bows, and a dispenser of tape. Reaching into his plastic bag Omi retrieved a second and smaller bag filled with the small items he would use as stocking stuffers. Yes, in this household Santa Clause was roughly five foot six, still in high school, and did not even have to shave. Stockings stuffed and miscellaneous gifts placed around the tree with gift tags signed by "Santa Clause", Omi sat down and began to the wrap his gifts. Omi would make certain that each member of Weiß received several gifts apiece and hopefully this year Yohji had toned down on the gag gifts. Hey he was a kid, and it was Christmas! He could dream all he wanted. No light peeked out from underneath Omi's door signifying the boy wasn't awake or online, nor was the light on in the bathroom. The coast was clear. Laughing softly at the ease with which he would be able to reach the kitchen, Yohji crept silently through the hall and down the stairs. As he passed the den he noticed the silhouette of someone sitting near the Christmas tree their back towards the wall, lights playing across their face briefly before casting said person back into the shadows. Instantly Yohji's survival instincts kicked into high gear, but before he could attack or even locate a weapon his mind supplied a name for the person, Aya. Not quite sure what Aya was doing up since he was not the type to rebel against Omittchi's orders, Yohji slunk in to the den. Aya did not even look up at Yohji's arrival the man continued to just stare off into space lost in his thoughts or memories. Yohji stood there a few moments waiting for Aya to acknowledge his presence. Instead of looking up at the blonde the other merely inclined his head towards the vacant couch. Eyes never once leaving the flashing lights of the tree, back still pressed against the wall as he sat on the floor in silence. Taking the silent and hesitantly given invitation Yohji sat down on the couch. Jade eyes locked on the crimson hair of the younger male. It was rare that Yohji sat or stood in any one place in silence, at least not for very long. Instead he preferred to fill the quiet with some sort of noise, any noise. Silence only allowed the pain from the past to return and overwhelm him. Aya appeared to be different, or at least a masochist. Yeah that was it, Aya was a masochist. He inflicted the pain from his past onto himself in a way that left no scars, no physical way to discern. But still he punished himself. For what Yohji did not know, or understand. "Hey Aya?" Silence greeted his attempt at conversation. Yohji warred with himself briefly. Aya tended to like solitude and silence, preferring to be away from people. Talking tended to drive the other away, but since he had invited Yohji to sit down then maybe he was up to company? To put it simply, the man confused Yohji most of the time. Sighing, Yohji decided to give it another go. "Oi Aya, what are you thinking about?" Amethyst eyes glanced his way briefly, shooting a somewhat half-hearted glare in his direction before turning back towards the tree and its lights. Frowning Yohji gave Aya a glare of his own, and said the first thing that came to his mind. "You know what Asuka loved the most about Christmas; the lights." Well that had to be the best way to start a conversation he thought wryly, mentioning your dead lover to a person that’s already depressed, smooth move Kudou. But instead of giving Yohji an exasperated look for speaking of Asuka yet again in his presence; Aya did something he had not really expected of the red head. "Who's Asuka?" Yohji blinked in confusion for a few moments. He'd spoken of Asuka many of times, did Aya just never pay attention, or did he merely ignore the older man? "She was my old partner." Yohji began, not quite sure how to tell someone about his past. When he had mentioned his partner in the past it had always been provoked or just in passing. "Back then I was a private detective, Asuka was my partner. I loved her." There simple. Short sentences were best in times like these, yet he still felt tears welling up in the back of his eyes. "Hn." It was all Aya said as he turned back to the tree, glaring at it as if he meant to send it up in flames with his eyes alone. Minutes passed as the two sat in silence. "Its sad not being with the ones you love this time of year. She was all I had left, then a case went bad and I never really got the chance to tell her how much she meant to me. I try to forget about the grief and the guilt, but she's always there in my mind and my heart. Nobody can replace her no matter what." Aya's glare had only intensified as Yohji spoke, though his body seemed to have turned towards Yohji as he spoke. "Asuka used to love going to church on Christmas Eve and then after we left the mass we'd stop in this small little restaurant where they served home cooked food that actually tasted home cooked." A small genuine smile spread out on Yohji's lips as he remembered. "After dinner I'd take her out through the neighborhoods and we'd just look at all the lights and decorations. Even though the rich side of town had the best displays out we always ended up lingering longer int the slums; she always enjoyed the simpler ones. Asuka used to say the spirit of Christmas was captured in the simplest of ways, not with money and over priced extravagance." "You miss her." Yohji jumped at the sound of Aya's quiet voice, having for a moment forgotten that he was there. "Of course. What about you Ayan, do you have anybody you miss or wish to be with right now?" "Don’t call me that." "Yohji blinked, then smirked "What, Ayan? It suits you ya know, besides I need to call you something besides just Aya." "Why?" "Because I do; everyone must have a nickname given lovingly by the honorable Yohji Kudou." "You think too highly of yourself." For a moment Yohji was stung by Aya's coldness and it showed briefly in his eyes before he could hide it behind a smile. "Well I don’t hear anybody complaining," he said and couldn't help but wink and adding "besides you that is." "Hn." Aya growled before turning back to the tree, once again lost in his thoughts. Silence stretched on between the two. It was neither uncomfortable, nor companionable, just a tad uneasy. "What about the rest of your family?" Aya asked suddenly, breaking the silence. "What about them?" "Why are you not with them; your lover died, not your family." Trust Aya to pick up on the fine print. "My father didn't really have time for me and mother had died a few years before that, from cancer. After Asuka died I never wanted to return home" Yohji paused deciding how to phrase the last bit. "I was lost in my grief, and didn't know how to deal with it. When I didn't contact my family after news of Asuka's death reached them and I hadn't called, everyone just kind of assumed I was dead. A few months later father passed away." He added with a shrug. "I didn't want to contact them after that, it felt like it was too late to go back to them. Then a few weeks later Kritiker came knocking. The rest as they say, is history." Glancing down Yohji found a pair of amethyst eyes locked on his in thought. At that moment Aya looked young, younger than Ken even and lost. The shared pain of losing someone in his eyes. Nodding slightly the younger assassin looked down briefly when he looked back up to face Yohji his face was once again composed, icy mask in place. "You never answered my question." "What question?" Aya returned with narrowed eyes. "Is there anybody in your life?" Yohji watched as Aya seemed to retreat back into himself. "Why do you ask?" "Because I want to know." Yohji countered. "Why?" Aya's distrustful nature was starting to grate on his nerves. Did the man honestly think everyone was out to get him? "You're a friend, and despite your I'm-an-ice-princess attitude I want to know." Not the nicest way to phrase an answer he decided as Aya's back stiffened and the temperature in the room dropped about ten degrees. "I'm not your friend." To say Yohji was floored by the comment was an understatement. "Bullshit! If you weren't a friend do you think I'd or even Omi or Ken would put up with your bitchy attitude? You’re not the most warmest person you know!" Yohji growled back, eyes narrowing in anger. "I was never the warm person to begin with!" Aya screamed back, then stopped glancing up towards the ceiling as if he could see the top floor's occupants. Minutes passed in silence but no stirring from above sounded. Both Ken and Omi were still sound asleep. Aya was confused. Yohji sat on the couch and though he tried to hide it pain and anger seemed to be etched across his face; both emotions only intensifying whenever he attempted to distance himself from the elder male. The man had called him a friend, and here he sat hurting him. He wanted to talk to the blonde, to trust him but a part of him wouldn't let go of the idea that in the end the blonde would only be hurt in time for being his friend. Wasn't that how it always turned out? People got hurt because he let them get close. His previous Kritiker teams were both a testament to that belief. "My sister." The moment the two words left his mouth Aya wished he could take them back. What was he doing opening up to someone? It seemed natural though to talk openly with the blonde, maybe it was due to the man's earlier confessions? "I have a younger sister." Five simple words and they changed everything. The man would never look at him with respect now, just contempt for his weakness. "That’s great" Yohji said smiling slightly at Aya's attempt at conversation. When Aya did not look up or comment the blonde wondered about the younger sister. "Right, Aya?" "Her name is Aya." The statement had shocked the blonde, that much was obvious by the startled intake of breathe and rounded eyes. "But your-" "No. My real name . . . my real name is Ran, Fujimiya Ran." Once again the den was submerged in silence this time around though it was a shocked silence. "I took her name, to keep her living in a way. To avenge her, Aya-chan..." He began, trying to force the words that did not want to come. "No, Ran." "Huh?" Aya asked startled. "You don’t have to tell me. Not if you don’t want to. You can tell me when you feel like it. Don’t do it because you feel obligated." Yohji interrupted with a sad smile. "Thank you." "But I am going to call you Ayan from now on." "What?" "Now it definitely fits you." A small smile flitted briefly over Aya's lips and the two stared at each other in silent understanding. Out in the hallway the clock chimed the coming of the midnight hour startling the two briefly. "Merry Christmas Ayan." "Same to you, Yotan." Looking at Aya's happy face an idea crystallized in Yohji's mind. Winking at the younger assassin he rose and went to the tree selecting a present he returned and handed it to Aya. "What’s this?" Aya asked accepting the gift cautiously. "It's Christmas morning, technically, so open it." Eyes glancing warily once more at Yohji, pale hands carefully begun to unwrap the gift managing to take the wrapping off in one whole piece. Folding it neatly Aya set it to the side and let his eyes rest on the jeweler’s box nestled in his hand. Impatient, Yohji began to shuffle from one foot to the other. Hopefully he wouldn't receive a "Shi-Ne Kudou!" for the gift. With a gentleness that surprised even himself Aya opened the case, inside lay a single necklace. The pendant on it was a katana a half circle embedded with amethyst was crossed over it. The circle however looked as though another piece was meant to connect to it, but no other pieces lay in the box that Aya could see. Carefully he lifted the necklace up and held it lightly in his grasp. "Try it on!" Yohji encouraged a tinge of impatience and worry in his voice. Aya obliged and slid the chain over his neck the pendant falling to rest on his chest. Curious amethyst eyes looked up to meet sparkling emerald ones. "Do you like it?" Aya just nodded not sure if words could suffice what he felt. Yohji sat down on the floor across from him; reaching into the front of his shirt he pulled out the necklace's twin and held it out towards Aya. "It’s a friendship necklace," he began with a smile "meant to be given to your best friend." As he finished Yohji clasped Aya's half in his hand connecting the two together. "Forever." The two katana lay together, the two halves of the circle connecting them, making moisture begin to form in the back of Aya's eyes. Something he had not done and thought impossible for such a long time. He wasn't quite sure what to say, thanks seemed too mundane, a grunt wasn't exactly a great response, and he'd be damned if he started crying. He settled instead for the only thing that came to his mind. "Yes, till the end." Shutting the door to his room Aya glanced over to the single light in his room. On his dresser sat a single candle that he had lit in honor of his family and the Christmas that he would not be spending with them, again. Next to it laid a single photograph, the only one he had been able to scrounge from the wreckage of his home. Four people smiled happily from within the picture. His gaze fell on his sister's bright and smiling expression before falling on the cheerful smiles of his father and mother. The picture had been taken three weeks before the incident. His mother had let her long and glorious dark hair down rather than wearing it pulled back in its customary style. Amethyst eyes sparkled up at his crimson haired father who had actually smiled that day in pure joy. He remembered that day well, his father had received a bonus and a raise that day and they had celebrated; nothing but smiles all around. "Kaasan, tousan..." Aya whispered, fingers gently tracing the features of his deceased parents. Sighing slightly his hand fell away and instead clasped the necklace he wore around his neck. He had a new family now, and nothing would keep him from protecting them. "Kaasan, tousan wherever you are at now, I just want you to know that I have a home now. I'll be, okay. Merry Christmas" With a small smile Aya turned and slipped into his bed. A few hours sleep was always a good thing. And maybe now, now that he had a home, a family and most importantly a friend he could trust, the nightmares would finally stop. - OWARI - Okay I hoped you all enjoyed that ^_^ to those who guessed that the woman was Aya's mom, well you be right. Anyway merry x-mas everyone. I hope there arn't to many errors in this fic ^^; I never did get a chance to finish checking it over for errors.... Some might be wondering why Aya didn't tell Yohji more about himself, but I'm sorry I just couldn't see Ayan opening up THAT much. ^^ at least he'll let Yotan call him Ayan now ne? *watches readers pick up squishy tomatoes* eep! Candy, is most greatly appreciated, but so are reviews! Please Leave a Review
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